


(No) Substitute

by Shocotate



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Canon Compliant, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Impersonation, Missing Scene, Sibling Bonding, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:19:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23178343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shocotate/pseuds/Shocotate
Summary: “It’s…rather pleasant to have someone of a comparable age to speak with again. Though, it is only logical. You are now second oldest.”Envy is tasked with taking Pride’s place as Selim for a few days, and they find themselves bonding over the loss of their sister. There’s no replacing her, but they can pretend the other is good enough for now.
Relationships: Envy & Pride (Selim Bradley)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	(No) Substitute

**Author's Note:**

> It took forever, but this is was written for two prompts I received, "she's dead..." and "brontide" by an anon and jupiterprincesshouhou on tumblr. They both wanted some angst so here it is! This is set between episodes 40 and 42.
> 
> Huge thanks to my beta-reader Violetlight!

Only the sounds of pen on paper echoed through the office, his little brother no doubt _so hard at work,_ as ever. Weak autumn sunlight streamed in, bright enough to not need the lights on, given the white walls.

Perched on the sleek black couch in front of the Fuhrer’s desk, the boy adjusted his pretty blue sleeves, smoothing down his tie, clashing against the prim décor and Wrath’s darker uniform. Apparently the couches were an occasional addition for visitors who felt like sticking around. _Who_ would actually _want_ to was another question, but he didn’t think about it too much. Surely no one would come and interrupt such a lovely father-son day, either. Gave him less to do.

The older homunculus feigned a yawn, stretched out his shorter arms and flopped backwards, letting his legs kick a little. Upside down, he scanned over the row of swords on the wall, halfway between curiosity and boredom, to the bookshelf, the massively oversized candle on Wrath’s desk, and eventually glanced down to see Wrath’s uncovered eye on him from beside it.

“All this must seem rather dull to you, Selim,” _You can say that again._ “Are you sure you wouldn’t be happier at home?” His little brother spoke in that usual gruff timbre. It was meant to be his gentle ‘parent’ voice, but Wrath was shit at the best of times, so he hadn’t expected anything better.

Envy almost snorted, but only flashed him a sedated grin, his softer lilac eyes shining as well as any brat.

“Nope! I love spending time with you, Father! You’re always working so hard,” he chirruped, trying not to gag. Sprawling out further, he folded his arms over his face; maybe he could take a nap. Some ‘mission’ this was.

 **_It is imperative that I remain at Father’s side for a time, but Selim cannot simply go missing. I may have a use for you, Envy._**

Like he had a choice, but it beat the past few weeks of wandering about HQ on ‘reconnaissance’. Envy shuddered lightly in disgust. All that time wasted weaving among so many filthy humans despite the slight conveniences it brought; at least Greed got to kill any intruders he found!

Still, this was simple enough, all smiles and chirps like a little bird, like those months long ago in the East, with the old Greed, and Pride, and Lust.

_Lust._

His mind dragged itself past his _practising_ the day before, beneath his brother’s too many watchful eyes, and to the last time he had _dared_ to take this shape. It suddenly felt wrong.

Envy remembered her bare spears digging into his small, small belly, tearing, shoving him away, and the hot splash of red that came pouring out instead of black.

 _Well, would you look at that, no shadows at all._

He remembered his sister scoffing something between a laugh and a snarl. He had only hissed, skulking off, choking on his dissolving blood, regenerating much too slowly with her own mocking, painless sparks echoing like distant thunder.

 _You could_ never _be him._

 _I’m managing it well enough now_ , Envy thought bitterly, forcing the memory down and pushing up with a sigh. His shined up shoes struck the floor with a dull thump.

Speaking of little birds, Hawkeye stood fidgeting near the window, preparing tea and masking her shivers. All because of _him,_ definitely not a brat like Wrath. Besides, she should have been used to dealing with his little brother by now. When’d she get ‘promoted’ again? It didn’t matter. Obviously, she’d still be shivering if she knew it was _him_ , anyways.

Satisfied, she handed one teacup to Wrath on its tray, and, her brown eyes falling sideways towards him, prepared a second.

“Here you are, Selim,” Hawkeye said once she returned, holding the tray out for him, a slight bend in her knees, as if she could possibly look down on him. The sunlight flung a shadow across her face, hiding the thin scab on her cheek, almost. Even if Pride had not told him about her _knowing_ , it was written all over her. Pathetic.

“Thank you, Lieutenant Hawkeye,” he grinned, catching the almost inaudible tinkling of the porcelain betraying her otherwise unnoticeable trembles. Envy saw the flash of an out of place black sleeve under her uniform and mused if Pride had cut her there, too.

She exhaled, her shoulders lowering the tiniest bit as he took the plate and cup, as if glad to be free of it. Envy thought of it, indulging her tea, sipping too loud with his pinky outstretched just to piss Wrath off. But he wouldn’t. Tipping just so, the saucer overbalanced and he let the pale white cup slip through his grasp, falling but cushioned by the red rug beneath them. The tea soaked deep into it.

“Oh no…!” he mewled, hands balling into fists and gasping behind them. He snatched his legs up onto the couch, curling up, mortified. There was no way he’d be keeping track of any tea stains on his ‘clothes’, “I’m sorry!”

It was worth it just to watch her squirm, almost collapsing with how fast she bent down.

“I apologise, the fault was mine, Selim.”

Glaring down and watching the Flame Colonel’s bitch on her knees where she belonged, Envy flashed his usual smirk where she could not see, and resisted every temptation to smash her through the floor.

For now, he would have to settle for this.

* * *

Envy’s heavy black shoes thudded on the stone floor, a bit noisier than needed, somewhat clumsily, and the drone of Father’s power deeper in the earth called back. Father said he was too loud sometimes, his usually mostly bare feet quieter than shoes, but now any noise seemed preferable. It would be a while yet until Gluttony was better, and with the new Greed stuck patrolling, the silence of the Underground clung to his skin like tar.

The return trip took way too long like this, in Pride’s squished shape, not that he’d change back yet. Pride needed to see how perfect he’d been. Was this how Pride felt on his trips home? Envy could not imagine so, his brother probably felt nothing like that. Maybe he slinked back in his shadow instead, carrying his casing the rest of the way.

At last Envy reached the centre of the chamber, their Father awake again compared to his dozing the day before.

“I’m home, Father,” Envy’s _actual_ voice poured out; ‘Selim’s’ childish mewling had no place here.

Father barely moved, casting him the faintest glance before returning to his book. Even so, Envy couldn’t help but flash one of his razor sharp grins at the acknowledgement, his teeth catching the light. Maybe it looked weird on his brother’s face, not that it mattered. Though, did Father look to him and see only Pride, as the humans did, or his beautiful self instead, or something else? Envy hurried off before he could ponder the strange thought any more, hopping higher than usual over the pipes bleeding out from Father’s throne, to the long hallway that held their bedrooms.

Part of him considered forgetting about visiting Pride, he wasn’t even in his room, and just go pass out on his own stony bed (and think about getting a new mattress), but a flicker of grey in the second room caught his eye. Envy halted, squinting. Lust’s fur trimmed coat was slumped over her bed, gathering dust. Even in the dim light pouring from the hall, lower to the ground he saw the silver stitches in its side, not hers. He inched closer, longing to wrap himself up in it, and her, but the archway seemed impassable, like a bubble he dared not cross. It wasn’t fair.

**“Ah, there you are,”**

Envy flinched, suddenly drowning in Pride’s particular kind of ‘pressure’ long before he saw him, but it tore him from his daze all the same.

His elder brother slowed when he reached him, a large book of his own clutched tightly in his pale hands. **“Come.”** A tendril flicked up from the floor and motioned towards his room next door.

“What for?” He had seen him now, wasn’t that enough? And besides, imagine, Pride, who had barely visited in months, now here twice in as many days, and inviting him to his room? Envy almost shivered, but forced it down.

 **“You need to prepare for tomorrow.”**

“ _Tomorrow_? You mean I gotta baby-sit _again_?”

 **“I must remain at Father’s side as much as my act will allow; the Tunnel is almost complete, and there is the final Crest to attend to as well. It is vital I report any changes to him immediately.”**

“Sure,” Envy gave in, his scowl stretching Pride’s perfect prick face as he followed, but his brother made no comment on it. He perched on the edge of Pride’s bed, while Pride sat across from him, settling on a chair in front of his writing desk, “you gonna wear this thing again?” he asked, pointing at the sky blue jacket on himself and hanging over Pride’s mirror.

 **“For the sake of convenience, yes. It likely suits both of our needs. ‘ _Mother’_ is so awfully fond of it, too.”**

“Why do you do it?”

 **“Do what?”** His brother’s tendrils dripped beneath him, wrapping around the chair legs.

“Change your clothes after you get here.” Envy said, somewhat glad he never had to deal with getting dressed, or clothes too big or small. He looked over Pride’s outfit, its suiting deep blacks and red tinges, like the rest of them. Somehow Envy thought that if Pride had been given the permanent clothing of their siblings, it would be something exactly like his current attire, fashions of back then be damned (and quite so, if Lust was any indication), whenever ‘back then’ was exactly. Outside Sloth’s chain ‘accessories’, what those two had spoke of as the playful side of their Father must have left him long before Envy’s creation, scarcely conceivable.

 **“This is not part of Selim’s wardrobe. It would raise suspicion if I wore clothing befitting an adult in my guises,”** Pride said like it was obvious. At least that was one benefit of pretending to be a soldier most of the time, only one outfit to remember, flashy stripes for ranks aside, **“Do you not return to your regular form the moment your act ends?”** It was barely a question, a few eyes in his shadow narrowing, some rolling their eyes. His fingers stroked absently over the book, taking up most of his lap.

“Oh, I think I get it. Are you, uh, done ‘checking’?”

 **“Hm? Ah, yes, you may change back now,”** Pride blinked as Envy sparked and returned to his regular form, turning to lay the book on the desk behind him, **“I must return before my ‘absence’ is noted. Do you have anything to report?”**

Envy paused mid-stretch, crossing his legs and shrugging, “Not really, ‘cept Hawkeye shitting herself all afternoon. Ya should have seen her face!” He cackled at the memory of her walking in after lunch to _him_ , half tempted to turn into her just to let Pride see. “Or _did_ you?”

Pride shook his head, the movement rippling in his shadow; it grew as a cloud behind him until Envy couldn’t see the desk anymore. Maybe that was him ‘stretching out’ as well, before he’d have to squash them back inside himself for his acts.

 **“I have much more imperative tasks outside observing Mustang’s dog. So long as she believes I am watching her, she will not interfere. Do not antagonise her in my stead, either.”**

“Don’t worry, I won’t blow your cover.” _More than it already is,_ part of him wanted to add, but Pride probably saw it in his eyes and scoffed quietly, his feet swaying and brushing the stone floor. “You must have done a real number on her.”

Pride hummed in response, bored, half hearted, but his real self flared, swelling further in his conceit. Slowly, something like a faint, poisonous smile lit his boyish face, as if remembering.

“Tell me about it.” Envy chanced it, half curious, and hopefully Pride would take the opportunity to boast. He needed to hear it.

Pride turned back to him, his lids sagged, as if trying to find an excuse, like he didn’t deserve to know, but he shrugged.

 **“Very well, Wrath can wait a few moments more. He dare not complain.”**

“Serves him right. You know he tried to send me— _you_ , home! The dumb brat!” Envy crowed, and Pride actually laughed.

* * *

“What are you drawing, Selim?” Wrath’s wife asked from the couch opposite, hands folded in her lap before reaching for her cup of tea, that she had made herself. Hopefully whatever errand Wrath had sent Hawkeye on would keep her occupied for the rest of the day.

“It’s a knight! Or two, but one’s a mean knight. He’s doing something bad,” like _revealing what he shouldn’t to one of their Precious Sacrifices._ Envy thrust Pride’s fancy S.B. pen down and pretended it was that dumb Slicer all over again, stabbing him with his own stupid sword. He played it off though, scribbling another part of the armour with strokes that _didn’t_ threaten to tear the paper. If this was Pride’s idea of stopping him being bored out of his mind then...it wasn’t half bad.

“Are you one of the knights?”

“Yeah, Father let me borrow one of his swords,” Envy spun in his seat and glanced at the blades on the wall, as if using them for inspiration, “He’s the king in this story!” He made the printed-on Amestrian Dragon roar from the top of the page, where it sat on all of Wrath’s official documents. If his little brother had any grievance with Pride swiping the paper before they had switched places, he knew well enough to keep his mouth _shut._ At the very least, it gave Envy something to do other than stare at his wife’s face all day. He bet Wrath had actually _invited_ her here just to annoy him, or as an excuse not to do any work, like always. He had caught something about a charity function as she’d walked in, accounting for the basket of cakes at her side; hopefully it would drag her away before too long. Still, Envy raised himself up the tiniest bit, trying to peek inside, but only for a moment. They were probably shitty little things, all plain and boring and tasteless, anyway.

“Mister Alphonse is rather like a knight, isn’t he, dear? He must like them too, wearing armour all the time.”

“Yep, but Edward is my favourite!” Envy stabbed into the page again, and for a split second he imagined it being the pipsqueak’s brother instead. Maybe his Seal was there, too. The pen nib squeaked at the force, but he ignored it. If Pride didn’t want him using the pen for drawing then he shouldn’t have lent it to him.

She caught his peeking, and her filthy human eyes met his, cooing some shit he barely heard. Behind his big doe eyes Envy fumed in silence.

_You don’t get to look at me like that._

But still she looked, smiling her wretched smiles. It was a wonder Pride didn’t puke, if she had that dumb expression on her face all the time.

“They’ll be expecting me soon, but don’t worry, Selim,” she lifted a small white box from inside the basket, “I made an extra batch just for you. Please enjoy them, darling.” She set them on the table as she stood, stepping close and wrapping her arms around him, crushing him to her too quick.

“Thank y--M-Mother! Stop, that’s embarrassing,” he yelped, wriggling out of her grasp, protesting the best he could get away with. Forgetting about his drawing, Envy scooped the box up, scurrying over to his _dear_ father just to put some distance between them. Inside sat seven chocolate cupcakes; she must have taken one herself when they were baked, “Here, Father, you can have one!” If Wrath could stomach it, they were probably edible enough.

“See you later, dears.” Wrath’s wife waved softly, already at the doorway.

“See you later, Mother! Have fun!” Envy called, hopping backwards up onto Wrath’s desk, waving after her and kicking his legs before plucking out a cake for himself, biting down with a childish giggle.

The door clicked shut.

“Overdoing it a little, don’t you think?” Wrath huffed, specks of chocolate clinging to his moustache bristles, like a hedgehog caked in mud.

“It’s called ‘acting’. Should -- try it sometime,” the older homunculus scoffed behind the mouthful of chocolate, licking his fingers in turn. His little brother only grumbled something under his breath and reached towards the box for a second helping, “Settle down, brat,” and Envy slapped him away with a _thwack_ , “she made ‘em for me.”

“She made them for Pride.”

“And which one of us fits that bill more, huh? Wanna go ask her?”

Wrath didn’t answer, and Envy was glad to leave him stewing. Bundling the box into his arms again, he pottered over to the bookshelf. Might as well take them to Pride, who they were _actually_ meant for. That was enough babysitting for today, anyway.

Ten minutes later (a new record, if Envy did say so himself, given his ‘handicap’) Envy popped his head into the doorway of Pride’s room, already sparking and returning to his real form, his hair flopping over his face in its long strands,

“Hey, got a package for ya” he called, and the rest of him followed suit.

Pride lay sprawled out at the edge of his oversized bed, eyes barely open, his jacket unbuttoned and creasing _terribly_ , not that Envy would ever mention it.

“Oh, you checking on Sloth?” Tiptoeing closer, Envy tucked the cake box under his arm and poked him very, very carefully on the shoulder, “I brought – um – these, from Wrath’s wife,” he said, tensed enough to make a run for it, watching for any hint of shadows in the dimmed light. Envy might have not often visited Pride’s room itself, but usually it was lit up as well as any house upstairs, noticeable from the hallway, a half dozen candles dotted along every surface like foxfire, throwing his True Form this way and that, and several more reserved for tea warming. Now though, only a single candle sat shivering on his end table, bright enough in its holder, and nothing like that gaudy thing back on Wrath’s desk.

A cold line of Pride’s shadow coiled up his arm like a snake, **“You are early, little brother,”** and lifted it away. Pride sat up after it, smoothing out his dark sleeves, **“has something happened?”** His eyes glittered in suspicion, the darkness seeped from beneath him and curved across the ceiling like a canopy.

“C-Course not.” Envy squeaked and threw his hands up, still squeezing the box under one arm, barely, “Same old stuff on up there, ‘cept these cakes.”

 **“Ah, one of ‘Mother’s’ hobbies,”** A few of Pride’s tendrils caught the box, slithering onto the silk quilt and untying the ribbon atop it, **“it keeps her amused. Though, her visits may prove cumbersome, I will ensure she does not return again during our joint missions.”**

“Great. It’s hard enough – thanks,” Another thin hand dropped two of the five cakes in his lap, “ – getting Hawkeye to piss off.”

 **“She _is_ Wrath’s aide, you know, even at the most inopportune moments.”**

Envy hummed in agreement, the best he could manage as he shoved the whole cake in his mouth with the flat of his gloved palm. Being so tiny, he didn’t have to open it much, but the idea had a certain appeal.

**“Keeping her so close keeps Mustang in check, too.”**

Envy tensed at the word, his hands clenching.

“Mustang…” he growled. He let the feeling simmer in his stomach as he gulped down the cake, barely tasting it.

 _Mustang, Mustang, Lust’s enemy..._

He remembered Gluttony babbling to himself between his tears, repeating his name over and over until he’d never forget it. Still recovering, did he repeat it to himself within their Father? Maybe it would be enough for Father to let them kill him sooner rather than later.

 **“He is well in hand.”** Pride’s container and shadow took turns gently easing the paper cup away from the cake, **“He will be taught his place come the Promised Day, and _after_ \--”**

“You’re gonna let him live!?” Envy bolted upright, his feet smacking the floor, but thankfully leaving no _cracks_. The cake in his lap bounced and landed back in the box at the force. Wrath might have vetoed him dying in an ‘accident’ at the hospital, remaining a potential Sacrifice when Father made him squarely their little brother’s business, but even after that? Why should that bastard get to live when…

Some crackles passed over his skin, too bright and obvious. Harsh red mixed with the softer amber of the candle, and he watched Pride’s shadow deepen at the contrast.

But--!”

 **“Calm yourself, Envy.”** His gaze flashed dangerously, even with his teeth sunk into the soft sponge. His shadows glared as he slowly sat back down, growing a few ivory maws in warning, until he had settled completely.

A few moments passed, only the sounds of the roving shade disrupting the silence. At last, his older brother spoke again.

 **“Like I just _told_ you, it is in hand. Human alchemists think they know so much. He is aware of Us, to be sure, but he has not seen you, he has not seen _me_.” **Pride chewed with hardly a sound, covering his mouth. More of his tendrils bled out, curling into themselves, **“ _Oh_ , once, one dared to reach out, it drives them mad, you know. They almost wish for death at that point, to see all their knowledge proved fruitless, all in one moment.” **His aura flared in the darkness around them, heavy and vicious, his eyelids sliding shut. **“It is… exquisite, inevitable, but have some _patience,_ brother _._ The Flame Alchemist will not go unpunished, his place as the Fifth only ensures it. Ah, I still remember their faces, beholding something beyond their feeble comprehension…”**

Envy found himself resting on his elbows, soaking up his brother’s sudden enthusiasm, it seeping into him, too. The bubble of light felt equal parts cosy and suffocating now.

“Whoa, when was this? You should’ve let me come along!”

 **“Hm?”** Pride lifted his lids, blinking as if coming out of a daze, **“Oh, this was long, long ago. Before you, any of you, when I was alone.”** He spoke, the chunk of chocolate in his mouth not muffling his voice at all, smiling wistfully while another cake balanced on the ‘palm’ of his shadowy hand. **“It is certainly not an indulgence I can partake in as Selim, not under Wrath’s ‘doting’ eye.”**

“You got that right.” Remembering his cake, Envy plucked it up again from where it had fell sponge down in the box, dusting it lightly and checking for any ‘damage’. A bit squished, but not in too bad shape. Smelt as chocolatey as ever, too. “He’s probably in a mood again coz I ‘stole’ the cakes. I dunno how you deal with _living_ with him!”

 **“Yes, sometimes I think the respite of my tutor is preferable. Given my need to remain here, I am certain she will have even more work for me when I return for her lessons. Though, I have a winter break coming up next month as well.”**

“Ha, she’ll just give you more to make up for it!”

 **“I fear you may be right,”** His brother sighed, and his mouth quirked the moment he finished, as if baffled to be _agreeing_ with him. Pride shot him an odd glance, **“It’s…rather pleasant to have someone of a comparable age to speak with again,”** he admitted, quite despite himself, until his Sin caught up with him, and he brushed it aside with a haughty huff in his throat, “ **Though, it is only logical. You are, for now, second oldest.”**

Envy gaped. The idea that _he,_ Envy, the middle child, might be closest to Pride’s age. His older brother, his _only_ older sibling. It was too unbelievable to feel wrong. He shifted, nibbling smaller bites from his remaining cake, savouring it, letting the chocolate melt on his tongue. It was true enough, Gluttony would stay the same as he ever was, and Greed had become a new brat all his own, tied to that Xingese boy, and yet--

Envy tilted his head, “‘For now’? But Lust, she’s…”

He stopped himself. He couldn’t say it.

A long ripple ran through the liquid edges of Pride’s shadow.

 **“In the fullness of eternity, who can say what our Father will make possible?”** Something strange kindled deep, deep in Pride’s tired eyes. His shadow’s eyes only stared out, unblinking, watching him with that same odd light in them.

“Yeah!” Envy cried, a new grin stretching from ear to ear. Of course. Father could do it. He could do anything, especially once he became a God. “I can’t wait to see Mustang’s face! Lust can flay him, and his bitch, too.”

 **“After the Promised Day, of course.”** Pride added, the look gone, calm again, smooth, soothing, but no less assuring.

The two siblings huddled a little closer, concocting all manner of torture for the Flame Alchemist and his companions, and beneath it they clung to that wanting, the hope of their sister’s return. They clutched it tight enough to shatter.

* * *

“Very good, Envy. Travel North and retrieve the human as soon as the arrangements can be made.”

“Of course, Father.”

As soon as Father dismissed him, Envy darted over the pipes, his long hair whipping as if in a carefree breeze. Finally, some _real_ news, and one he could bring to Father himself! For a shitty chimera, that new one, Zampano, had come in handy at least.

It was too simple, not that Envy minded one bit. Find that shitty little hole of a slum Marcoh was hiding in, drag him back bawling all the way to his cosy old cell, and afterwards wipe a town off the map. He couldn’t _wait_. Hell, Pride could come along too if he wanted. Nothing like an extended ‘Father-son’ trip to the countryside, like Wrath would miss a chance to skip out on a few meetings.

The days had started blurring together, few as they were. Envy spent too many hours ‘babysitting’, smiling his boyish smiles at Wrath’s side. Sometimes, when Wrath had a clear schedule, he didn’t bother changing at all. It became nearly natural, meeting Pride at the winding stairs, their hands slapping as they crossed, like a relay, or clocking in. Even with nothing to report, Envy found himself drawn to visit Pride. Who else could he talk to? Every afternoon he wandered in, in his own shape or in Pride’s, discussing their missions for the briefest of moments, briefer with each day, drifting to events not spoken of in centuries, and to their delicious whispers of vengeance. Anything went, so long as _‘after the Promised Day’_ followed, like promises themselves, and when Pride went ‘home’ Envy curled up in his own room, lighting it with his sparks.

 _I’ll keep that bastard alive for you, Lust. I’ll...._

He whispered it in his head and to the cracked mirror, her sleek gloves and her scarlet palms wrapped around him, warm, tight enough to be real. When he fell asleep in her shape he dreamt of the new world, the Seven together and whole as it had never been before, like she and Pride told him when he was young. Even that brat Wrath could come along, he supposed. Maybe they could even visit Yock Island again, no filthy humans left to gawk at them.

He slowed a tad as he reached Pride’s doorway, just shy of dashing right in, feeling the peculiar texture underfoot as the shadows painting the floor receded. They lay bold and splattered across the walls, soaking up the warmth of the tea lights on his end table, and a thinner, taller candle at his reading desk.

“We’ve found him! We found--”

 **“I am well aware, Envy.”** His elder brother scoffed, hunched over that red book from the other day, mumbling something to himself before scribbling into it.

“Huh, you know already? How?”

Pride didn’t reply, teeth grinding against the walls, but he daintily dipped his magpie quill back into the ink all the same.

 **“I wanted to have him procured sooner rather than later,”** The words dripped out through his shadow, his mouth set in a firm line as he sliced through something near the bottom of a page, writing again before blowing it dry with soft quick breaths, **“he must be neutralised without further disruption to Father’s Plans.”** Carrying on, the golden nib and glossy green from the feather shimmered in the candlelight, waving to and fro. Beside him, a _real,_ white but yellowing quill lay tucked into the corner of an empty frame, a splash of scarlet at its tip. Envy thought of his own gifted quill, almost half his age and still safe in his room, never used. He wondered what had become of the rest.

“I... don’t think we’re talking about the same thing.” Envy’s bare feet scuffed the floor as he reached to slip the S.B. pen back into Pride’s pocket, his jacket in its familiar spot on his mirror. If he ended up taking it with him he’d never hear the end of it, though he bet Pride had tons of them at Wrath’s place, “Who are you on about?”

 **“Van Hohenheim.”** Pride hissed from every wall.

Oh fuck.

“…Damn.” Envy plonked down on his usual place near the foot of the bed, almost from the shock. He watched Pride give another glance to his drying page, before seemingly giving up for now, joining him. Smaller tendrils flickered around his ankles, flexing their sharp little fingers. The mattress barely dipped as he sat. Pride hadn’t actually _slept_ there in who knew how long, so hopefully the mattress wouldn’t start moulding to suit their seating positions.

Though the pipsqueak had _mentioned_ his dad, the idea of him gallivanting around where they could not reach had seemed so distant, not for him to be seeking _them_ out, especially not Pride. Did he have some kinda death wish, centuries old survivor’s guilt or something from Xerxes?

Envy could not imagine any human even _considering_ staring down his elder brother, never mind doing it and making it out in one piece, but Hohenheim was no regular human, was he? He was older than Pride, older than any of them. Older than their Father...

They sat in silence, and Envy suddenly felt pathetically small in his years, nowhere close to his second century. He shoved the feelings down, trying to laugh it off.

“Hey, at least we know he’s around.”

 **“You know not the gravity of the situation.”** Pride drawled, twinges of a scowl on his container.

“Pff, _gravity_. Please, we’ve all read ‘ _The Apple and the Alchemist’_.” Envy downplayed it with his giddy grin, drawing out a vague hint of a smile from his brother, his black look fading ever so slightly, more humouring him. “Forget about him for now, isn’t the Tunnel almost finished? It’s not like he can stop us.”

 **“True, the Tunnel is complete.”** Pride caught his expression, **“This morning,”** he clarified.

“Then what are we sat here worrying about! Sloth finally did it, we gotta celebrate! Shame I won’t be here to welcome our little brother back, hah.” Maybe they could wait ‘til he got back. Gluttony would be better by then, definitely. “Oh right. I was tryna tell ya, we found Dr Marcoh! Hiding in the North just like we thought.”

 **“Very good, Dr Marcoh must be returned to us.”**

“Knew he’d be around somewhere. Can’t say the same about _those brats_. They’d better not have froze up there.”

**“Being _his_ sons, I expect they shall turn up again before too long.”**

“If I see ‘em I’ll be sure to drag _them_ back as well. Two birds with one stone, or three, who knows.” Envy stretched, tipping back for a moment, the silk cool against his skin. He kicked his legs over the edge and whistled, “Guess this spells the end of ‘our’ mission, though. What are you gonna do now?”

 **“I will return aboveground, you should go prepare as well. I must admit, your taking my place, as it were, has not gone unappreciated, Envy.”** Pride kicked his legs too, looking down at him, but not looking down on him, the darkness all but gone from his face. **“However, Dr Marcoh aside, with the Crest and Tunnel complete, there are new issues to attend to. Wrath’s underlings are having _trouble_ locating Izumi Curtis, useless things, so I am taking my own steps to procure another possibility.”**

“and Flame?”

 **“You know the answer to that.”** Pride purred with a smirk in his voice, though his eyes and teeth no longer drifted over the walls. Sacrifice or not, something deliciously cruel and lingering had become the only option. Mustang needed to _see_ his failures, wallow and squirm and moan as all humans did, and then the real fun could begin. **“But that is for another time, and it is _much_ too early to return to Wrath yet.”**

A few more minutes passed, Envy almost content to sit in the silence. His mind drifted, maybe he could take a nap. He imagined being able to hear Sloth’s digging, or, with that done, his very slow stomping as he came home. He’d never bother using his real speed, he was sure. Still, it was worth celebrating...but _what_ …

Aha.

“Oh, I know!” Envy jumped to his feet, already heading for the door, “I’ve got just the thing!”

 **“I’m sure.”** and Pride waved him off with a faint dry grin.

“I’ll be right back.”

Envy scurried off to his own room, pushing his lumpy mattress back onto the ‘real’ mattress beneath, out of his way and shimmying into the corner. Pride was always going about his bottle of rich 1662 red, but reserved only for after the Promised Day. Still, Envy had a bottle of white of his own, nothing ancient, but expensive for human tastes. Probably a gift from some Military Ball, he couldn’t remember. Besides, when else was he gonna drink it? Sloth finishing the Tunnel (forget about Hohenhiem) _and_ Dr Marcoh being found, all in one day? Yeah, that was something worth celebrating.

Squatting on his haunches and raising the lid of his oak chest, Envy grasped the bottle, lifted it,

“Eh?” only to find a mouthful left swilling around the bottom. His face scrunched up. “Greed! Stay outta my stuff!” Envy yelled, even though Greed was probably at the other side of the Lair tending to the chimeras, before putting the bottle back where he’d found it. Prick. It was definitely him, who else could it have been, though, Greed wasn’t exactly _alone_ in himself. Envy paused, musing on if he was weak enough to lose control and let the Xingese boy take over. That runt had quite an appetite on him, Envy thought, considering he had been eating a fucking _shoe_ a few hours before becoming Greed’s new body.

What now? He couldn’t exactly go back to Pride with nothing. Envy rummaged around, hoping to find something of use, and as he stood he caught his split reflection in the mirror, the first for several days. The dull light of his bedroom had scarcely been lit by anything other than his sparks as he slipped into his sister’s skin, and the temptation to curl up with her arms looped over himself gnawed anew in him. He missed her crushing hugs, as if she was hugging his True Form instead. It never felt the same, no one to nestle against, feeling both sensations at once with nothing but empty space in his arms, and Pride would never--

Envy blinked, watching his sparks light up the dark, letting them trickle along. No, not for _him_. But perhaps…

At last, he combed his fingers through the silky tresses of his, or her hair. Whichever. He pressed his thumb into the node on the back of his hand, feeling each ridge and dip. Perfect. Envy was perfect and beautiful and for a split second she was _here_. Pride would see that, too, surely. His brother could forget about everything else and Lust could be real again, for him, for the both of them…

Half an hour later (everything had to be perfect), Envy inched along the corridor on his tiptoes, barely making a sound. He peered in, his black fingers tracing the doorframe.

Pride was still in his room, but had apparently given up on him coming back, all but one of the candles burnt out. Forgoing the chair, he stood at his desk, again leafing through the red tome, yet gazing over each page intently. Envy wondered if he had finished whatever he was scribbling about.

His brother sighed very softly, still not noticing him, flicking to the front. His pale fingers ghosted over the page. Envy watched his shadow grow until it coated the entire room, before compressing again, shivering.

This was no good. How could he still be wasting his time on that dumb, dusty book? Envy stepped out of the doorframe. His heels clacked. Pride raised his head towards him,

 **“There you are. What delayed you s--”** and his voice jammed, the shadows balked, snatched themselves back into his casing, that absorbed them like a sponge. Envy saw the barest, faintest widening of his container’s eyes, his mouth parted in some silent gasp, or one breathed where Envy could not hear, whispered somewhere inside himself.

A moment passed, then another, and Envy tried to recall her voice, purring the way she used to, soft and subtle.

“Ah, Brother,” Envy sighed it as she did, outstretching those long, lovely arms, “What do you thi--”

A black flash, thinner than paper, burst from the floor. It raked a red, burning line up his stomach, flicking somewhere over his head, but it thickened on the down stroke, splitting, growing claws and gouging through him just like her Lances. At least she had only had two hands. Pride’s countless blades plunged into him, hooking inside, dragging him down and Envy crashed to his knees, splashing in the pool of red. His shrieking spilled out in his own voice.

“I just…I thought…” Sprawled and gasping on the floor, the pain blotted out everything else. Perhaps she died on her knees, too. No, Lust would never... not for him...

 **“You are nothing like her.”** Pride’s icy hisses snapped at him, piercing through the air as easy as his flesh, “ **You cannot even get her eyes right.”**

Through the sparks Envy lifted high enough to catch the blurred purple through Pride’s mirror, her eyes everywhere but where they _should_ have been, pouring out from the shadows. His dull fingers clenched, his arms trembled, the fake nodes trailing to his hands melting away. His brother needn’t skewer them, it wouldn’t do anything, and his tendrils pinned him through the hidden nodes on his back instead, through his hair that was already returning to its wider strands.

 **“She’s dead...and still you dare. You insult her.”** The eldest bore down upon him, why did he have to look so calm! His teeth gnashed above him, the shade quivering, his eyes and their sister’s eyes narrowed but gleaming in the firelight. Why? Why did _he_ get to have them, along with the rest of her? It wasn’t fair.

“But Father will-- She’ll come back…right?” Envy mewled, shaking his head enough to shift the matted mess of hair out of his face. A single tendril reared up, shaking off his blood, it rising as black dust like the shadow itself was dissolving. It bristled, its teeth champed, but Pride did not answer. “No, P-Pride… you bastard…say it…y-you _promised_ …” The shadow tightened over his chest, its edge and its claws clamping over his mouth. It coiled and squeezed, tighter and tighter.

Behind Pride’s container, too many spiralled teeth gnashed together, arced over him, eyes larger than his entire body. He saw the pink streaks within, the red and purple splashes, but none quite as vibrant as hers, faded and dull like wine stains or dried blood on glass. Envy wheezed around the shadow, hardly knowing if he was trying to laugh or sob. _You can’t get her eyes right, either._ He shook regardless, wracked by it, feeling only that. His eyes watered, seeing nothing but a wash of orange and grey and purple. He wasn’t crying.

Envy heard the crackling rumble of his sparks somewhere far away, unable to heal, barely able to move. They mixed with the darkness and they felt warm. They squeezed again. It almost felt like a hug. Almost, _almost_...until his bones snapped.


End file.
